Friday, January 9, 2009

The Princess Diary

" heylo ? "
" hallo princess ! "

The word invokes myrid memories.

A childhood belief. Dad tossing me up in the air. Squeals of laughter. ' kanmani '  he calls me. Yes i believe then I am a princess.

Me and my sis . grannys places. cuddled and cozyed up. kumar chitta , sudhi chitta and  kutti chitta at my beck . A child spoilt rotten . Of course I am a princess.

Later, The good student . The obedient kid . Cocooned in my world where i wasnt allowed to cross roads alone.  Princess again.

The bharatnatyam dancer. decked in age old jewellery . the first performance in the temple. proud parents. 

The bookworm. Lost in the fiction I read.  The  world of dreams where all happened as I willed .

My first crush. My best friend.  'So what if u r his  girl friend, I am going to be his friend forever'  . 

College. The attitude that is expected from ' the girl from delhi ' .  

Work. ' Enabling Transformation'.

Masters. perfect gpas. darling friends.

The world is my oyster.  Princess still.

And now ?

can I be the princess you dream of ? Having been a virago for so long , would it be an easy transformation ? To be the slim doe eyed beauty? Polished to turn heads. I have been unkempt hair and loud laughters for too long. And It scares me . More than I could ever tell you . The knowledge that I would have to change. and the fact that you would never know that because seen through the facade i am already there.

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