Friday, October 31, 2008

" The Virtue of Selfishness "

A few days ago i updated my ' about me ' on a social networking site.
It read
" I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. " - John Galt

Objectivism is an easy philosophy to like a difficult one to follow. Its all very trendy to talk about it, and list it in fav books and pretend to be the most independent person around. But deep down i am but a needy girl in pigtails . It would be so easy if i could be the only person who can make me happy or sad . but that state of euphoria is far away. and here i am all lonely wishing i had someone to talk to . wishing i was half as important to ppl as i believe myself to be. wishing dat there were platonic relationships i could expect from.

And so the updated 'about me' reads "If only the answer was 42. "

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

July 30 2008

Heylo ppl ...

So i remembered.
Random thoughts on what i remember most about the occasion.

The mad mad rush till the very end trying to get everything together.
all sorts of calculations to figure out the perfect (cheapest) travel agent.
Sri lankan ? air india ?
discussions on how to handle the weight issue ( harshas plans of splitting the bag and repacking in newark and i dont know what else).
the magical number 23. having orkut status as i hate 23 * 2
leaving home.
friends in small and big clusters.
family. introductions.
photographs outside the airport.
and then sudden quiet when everything slows down. the instance when we reach the airport.
have said all the important stuff . gone through the mental checklist 500 time. and then there is nothing else.
you know you need to get into the line ( the long long line. ) but oh plz cant this be bit longer.
well but it is just pushing aside the inevitable , maybe i should go i and be done wid it.
finally finally crossing the glass door. the security .
waiting in line looking around and realizing the extent of brain drain .
shiv struggling with his suitcases
trying to get all our luggage through the scanner . small actions of helping each other lift suitcases . and great thoughts about its symbolism.
explaining to the scanning security female : i am going to study , only have rice in it
checkin . holding our breath while they weigh our suitcases.
the mess i made dropping all my papers and passport around . shivs father calming me down.
visitors window. final looks.harsha saying ' can we go in now' . me pretending to be brave ( ? ) .
waiting in bangalore airport hoping that the flight is not yet delayed.
identifying marks on our suitcase : my orange colored ribbons , harshas chalk marks and shivs intel cards.
my harry potter and charu's just bought namesake.
harsha's stories( all of them had multiple female leads) and our first impressions.
the orange ice cream at bombay airport at 5 am.
my ipod . harsha discovering all cool songs i dint know existed on it. me pretending to be nonchalant and all 'of course i listen to dat'.
Playing dc and having everyone in the flight starring at us.
charu guessing movie names as soon as i say 'one word hindi'.
cribbing about air india hostess .The air steward who woke me up for lunch saying 'bacha kuch kha lo'
the sighting of what we shall believe to be Eiffel tower.
the old uncle in the next seat weeping becoz of fever . and all of scared and hoping to help.
reaching newark.
immigration. the guy saying ' oh you are going to state' . i nodding with no idea whats state .
counting baggages.
managing to sneak in baggage into the connecting flight.
charu having to fight it out over what air india claimed was allowed and american said was not.
searching for animesh and being in tears when i couldnt find him.
taking the train the other terminal. not being able to all the baggage into the train ( yes it was again harsha)
eating from dunking donuts for the first time.
stepping into the flight to raleigh which was the smallest aircraft i had ever seen. what they give only peanuts to eat. rude shock after air india i tell you.
the flight circling around raleigh forever to avoid the welcoming thunderstorms.
landing in a really really dead airport. all shops shuttered ??? isnt this supposed to be an airport ??
pick ups and temp accos.
That was the end of one journey.
It had been a wonderful journey since then with you all and the memories are once to cherish forever.

Cheers to the year that has been .
For the year where we achieved some dreams , exchanged some of them for newer versions.
For the year when we learnt life throws a lot of curve balls. High on life nevertheless.
For the year of laughing till we cried and smiling even when sad.
For the year where we gave up the starry eyedness and took on the independence mantle.
For all it taught us, for all it stood for and for all it will bring us.

Still waiting for the return flight,
Lots of love,
Me :)

Friday, February 22, 2008

Its been a boring day !!!!! senseless assignments and midterms ..... and rainy and blue on top of dat . just the day when all i wanna do is sleep ...which by the way i did for like 12 hours ...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Facing thy dreams

'Chase thy dreams ' .... how often have we heard his .. the omnipresent inspirational quote .. and of course isnt that the secret of achieving dreams. But what do you do when fate intervens . You dont get to chase your dream coz lady luck smiles at you and wham , heres your opportunity. Its time to ' capture thy dream' . But hello ? whatever happened to preparing for it. I am not ready as yet . I dont want it now . I would rather it remains the elusive dream , thank you very much. For i would rather have a destination as compared to the memory of a failure . I am no spider , not even a king bruce. and a shimmering oasis is all i ask for.
' hee hee' , you cant dictate terms to me fate chortles
And so the grand saga of me facing what i have always wanted ends with me questioning my right to dream so big. well what have always wnted might not be true , but yes pretty high on the list of things i want ( second only to true love , sighs cindrella ).
And now the subduded questions emerge. destinations . and yes i know lifes about the journey . but without the destination i sort of cannot make the right turns you know. Reminds me of these bike rides i used to go on with a friend . with the hopes of getting lost we would choose turns without thinking . and no i never got anywhere interesting. Thats what i dread. A journey ending with well so what?
Signing of hoping to find new dreams .

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Sunscreen and duh someones !!

First the song

i rediscovered it today ..
after what can only be termed as an unbelievable day . like one of those murphy law days . the why me days . the not again . and the not one more thing .
and then when you have screamed yourself hoarse . and had the world against you.
but the sunscreen song always does it .

'duh someone' is much more special. the luxury of being able to crib to someone who is so practical . you would think practicality = distance .but well not here . he is the perfect listener . as i have declared so many times before. and every time he plays the role , he never fails to surprise me. Thabk you . muuahhh.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Oh well gee !!! my first blog ... are you going to be my crying board , my stage or my escape ?